This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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