not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
