So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
