So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
