Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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