Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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