The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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