sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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