I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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