Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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