worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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