I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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