11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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