I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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