i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
