Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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