i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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