your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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