is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The power of my boobs compel you
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
