Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
