I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
