no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
