I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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