you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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