i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
