ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize