You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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