We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
