So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
