I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
