all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
