Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
handjob tips. give me some.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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