I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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