you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize