I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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