forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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