Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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