Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
