you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You're earring is so big in my mouth
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm just crazy horny about you
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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