So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
