road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
