we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
