My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
