Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Alive.
So much puke
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
