Ketchup is God's man juice
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm bleeding and have questions
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
