I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
