She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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