Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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