I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
