Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize