It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
