last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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