I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize