so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
