i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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