he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
