I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
