Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
